18 THINGS A BURGLAR WON’T TELL YOU

1. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your refrigerator.
2. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I look like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never look like a crook.
3. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you’re reluctant to leave your TV on while you’re out of town, you can buy a timer.
4. Yes, I do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it takes you to remove it.
5. Here’s a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids rooms. I always check the master bedroom dresser drawers, the bed side table, and the medicine cabinets.
6. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.
7. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don’t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it’s set. That makes it too easy. You’re right: I won’t have time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it’s not bolted down I can take it with me.
8. Hey thanks for letting me use your bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlocked the window to make my return easier.
9. Leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me it’s an invitation. I don’t take the day off because of bad weather.
10. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close your blinds, just to see what you have that I might want.
11. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. Don’t take me up on the work offer.
12. I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a lot of noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he’s doing. That’s human nature.
13. A good security company alarms the window over the sink and the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom- and your jewelry. It’s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.
14. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and then leave your house without setting it?